Don't Let The Door Hit You...

The common phrase is "don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out". I also like, and perhaps prefer, "don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya". I endorse both sentiments for Texas today, or at least for the citizens of that state that wish to secede from the Union.

Upon how many levels is this despicable? Rhetorical questions often have real answers, so let us list the ways:

Firstly, secession is treason as defined by law. I believe this was settled in the case known as United States v. Confederate States. That was a rather bloody and protracted ruling, as I recall. Considering that "treason" is a word loosely thrown about in Bush country, this fact seems salient.

Secondly, the relationship between red states and the federal government is as follows: red states bitch incessantly about big government and high taxes but, with exceedingly rare exceptions, red states take in far more revenue from the federal government than they dole out. Yes, most red states, including Texas, are welfare queens writ large.

Thirdly, how spoiled can you be? Texas ran the world for 8 years. Bush. Gonzalez. Rove. Bush. Bush. Bush. The "Western White House". The "I have a huge dick" strut across the sunburned sands. The clearing of brush. The insipid and insouciant and insulting "folksiness".

Texas had a stranglehold on the government for 8 years. 3 months after it ends, their first impulse is to....commit treason. Wow, way to skip steps 2 through 9, Texas. Did it ever occur to Texans that Rhode Islanders may have wanted to secede 8 years ago?

Did it ever occur to Texans that their beloved president was "elected" by a coup d'etat and that Mr. Obama, Rhode Island's president, was elected by a good old-fashioned passionate ass-whippin' of the highest democratic tradition? Did it ever occur to Texans that their last two presidents (LBJ and W) started the shittiest, most immoral, most unwinnable wars in our history?

Fourthly, what are Texas' plans for independence? Good luck building an army and navy and coast guard. Good luck inventing and stabilizing and distributing your own currency. Good luck arranging treaties with 190 countries. Good luck sending ambassadors to 190 countries. Good luck with the million other things every country must do. And good luck with PAYING FOR IT ALL YOURSELF.

Clearly the sentiment in Texas is all pomp and bluster, but what is the deal with this government-hating as of late? The government stopped regulating monetary flows. Monetary flows caused a disaster. And several people blame the government. After those very same people said that the government should have no say.

This Texan secession bluster is part of the same charade, which rivals anti-intellectualism in its insidiousness. People tear down the very foundations of society to prove that society doesn't work. What they need to confront and accept is that, deep down, they themselves hope to God that nobody truly listens to them.