The Racket

I did my taxes today. It's an interesting act in citizenship. It's the only compulsory contact with the federal government for every single person who has the audacity to earn a buck on our continent of a country. Most people don't vote, but we ALL pay taxes.

This time of year I'm always reminded of how thuggish our great republic can be. I'm reminded that there was no income tax before 1916. I'm reminded that the United States somehow managed to become the richest nation in the world without taxing workers' incomes. I'm reminded of how hard I work. And I'm reminded of made-for-TV gangster movies.

It's a bit of a misnomer to say that I "did my taxes" today, because I actually "do" my taxes every single day, save the handful of days per year when I manage to both earn and spend absolutely NO money. Yes, we "do" our taxes every time we spend a buck.

So what we do this time of year is something different. We "do" our Income Taxes. As if it were the most natural thing in the world. We must keep in mind that there was no income tax until my grandfather, who is still living, was in his mother's womb. That's one lifetime. That's not ancient history.

Speaking of ancient history, I recommend the Constitution of the United States. Good read. Among its gems are "taxes shall be direct and apportioned". What this means is that taxes are directed at spent money and that the same rates apply to all. In other words, if you want to buy a bottle of booze, you're paying 3% sales taxes regardless of who you are.

But, here's the key: Until you buy that bottle of booze (or hopefully something more productive) your money is your money. It's yours because you earned it. You don't start to lose it until you spend it. At least that's how it was.

Now, the very act of earning money through direct labor freely given via a private contract with an employer is a taxable offense. It used to be that you'd get taxed for crossing a bridge, buying a pack of smokes, importing a consumer commodity from abroad, or owning land. Now, you're taxed before you ever get to do those things. Now, essentially, you're taxed for living.

Let's consider what the income tax really is. It used to be that I'd go up to a guy with a hole in his roof and say, "hey, I'll fix your roof for a thousand bucks." The guy would then say yes or no. If he said yes, I'd do the work, he'd give me the money. End of story.

Now, imagine if me and this guy are arranging this exchange and some seedy looking guy in a trench coat strolls up and says, "Oh! (like Pauly from "The Sopranos) where's my cut?" Now, normally, you would call this man an extortionist. You'd call him a thug. But what if he's with the Feds, instead of the Family?

The Income Tax is essentially an extortion racket. Protection money. I go to work for someone else. He demands. I supply. But then, the guy in the trench coat demands his cut. And why should we give it to him? Because "an accident might happen" if we don't. And is that not the IRS in a nutshell? A glorified street gang?

The IRS, of course, has its own paramilitary branch, so its clear to the citizens what will happen if they fail to pony up their protection money. And what is this protection money used for? Well, it's invested in such intellectual and moral and logistical triumphs as the invasion of Iraq.

We should remind ourselves every now and again that the American Revolution began as a revolt over undue and excessive taxation. I'm not saying the Founding Fathers were morally better than us (see: slavery), but I am saying that if they were resurrected today and saw how much money working folks were sending to their government, and the pretenses under which they were doing so, they'd wish they'd stayed British.